


What Does It Feel Like?

by 100percentfluffster



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Destiny, Good Friend Lancelot, Knight Friendship Fluff, Lancelot Lives, Leon Character Study, Leon's POV, Merlin's Magic is an Open Secret, Merthur isn't stated, Outside point of view of Merthur, just sort of assumed, knights of the round table - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 22:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16942287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100percentfluffster/pseuds/100percentfluffster
Summary: Merlin's magic is known by Arthur and his knights. Merlin will periodically lend his magical strength to them during fights. He favors Arthur, but does periodically choose the other knights to wield his power. Leon becomes obsessed with learning what it feels like when Merlin power boosts someone, and doesn't understand why Merlin won't trust him with it.This is a story of Leon trying to understand Merlin's magic and the different reactions of his fellow knights.





	What Does It Feel Like?

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of an idea than a fic, but it was fun to write.  
> And yeah, I kind of messed with canon times, because Uther is like still alive (though barely mentioned) and Arthur's still crowned prince, but he has the knights of the round table already. So just... yeah. Live with it and enjoy the story.

It was an open secret, Merlin’s magic. It was there for anyone who cared to see, but most didn’t. Something that baffled Leon every moment of every day. It only took a moment to see just how  _ much _ Merlin was, but somehow Uther and the nobles and countless other knights and individuals failed to see him as anything more than a serving boy. The Prince’s manservant. Beloved but simple and foolish. 

At first, Leon was confused by Merlin and Arthur’s relationship. He watched a servant backtalk to the Crowned Prince and watched Arthur do nothing but smirk and throw his own insults back. He watched Merlin grow bolder and Arthur grow softer. A lot of things changed within the first year of Arthur and Merlin’s partnership, but nothing changed more than the Prince himself. 

Leon vowed his loyalty to the Crowned Prince years before, but he will admit being relieved to see the changes in his Prince. Arthur became a man that Leon would follow anywhere, vow or no. And he had Merlin to thank for that. 

So it was no surprise when the secret was ‘outed’ to him, it only made sense after all. Leon knew Merlin had to be something more than what he appeared. Just hadn’t realized magic was involved, but if Arthur trusted Merlin’s magic, then Leon would too. 

The other knights of the round table, Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, they seemed more comfortable with Merlin’s magic though. They treated it like something to be cherished. It only took another month for Leon to understand why. 

It was another hunt, of another magical beast that Morgana had released upon Camelot’s lands in the hopes of killing Arthur. She was becoming less and less creative with her attacks and the mission felt almost commonplace. Merlin and Arthur had perfected this song and dance five monsters ago. It was always a sight to see, Arthur nearly glowing with Merlin’s magic wrapped around him and fighting off the monster of the week. He always looked like the king Merlin whispered about. The Once and Future King. 

But that time, Arthur was out of position and the thing was closing in on Lancelot. Merlin cried out, perhaps it was a word but Leon couldn’t decipher it, and then Lancelot drew up his sword and brought the steel up to block the swipe of strong claws, futile though it would be. There was a crash as the sword and claws met and Leon felt his ears pop as a small shock-wave undulated through the clearing. Then Lancelot was fighting, glowing from within with Merlin’s power, and driving the beast back. 

Lancelot looked focused and powerful and he moved faster and nimbler than Leon had ever seen him in practice. Merlin was behind him, eyes alight with golden light and sending blasts of magic into the creature’s sides at opportune moments. It took barely a minute for the two of them to fight the thing into submission. With a word from Merlin and another flash of light, Lancelot stuck his sword into the armored side of the creature like it was nothing. A howl left the monster before it disintegrated into pieces, leaving Lancelot and Merlin at the center of the clearing, grinning madly at each other. 

Slowly the otherworldly presence of Merlin’s magic left Lancelot’s figure and the gold of Merlin’s eyes dissipated. Merlin was pulled into a harsh hug by Gwaine and Lancelot went to help their Prince from the ground where he’d been tossed aside. Arthur smiled and gave Lancelot a pat on the shoulder and the patented nod of approval. Then Arthur found Merlin and the two disappeared into the trees to find wood for the fire. They all acted as if it was normal. 

The two were barely gone, and really why was the Prince even going with Merlin, when Gwaine whistled and said, “You lucky bastard, Lance.” Leon looked on in confusion as Elyan and Percival both chuckled and Lancelot looked decidedly uncomfortable. 

“That’s what he gets for being Merlin’s favorite,” Elyan said blandly with an eye roll and an affectionate slap to Lancelot’s shoulder. 

“I’m his favorite!” Gwaine protested with a hair flip and rakish grin. “He just chooses Lancelot because he was the first to know.” 

“Or because I was the closest to him, that could be it too,” Lancelot said with the air of someone who’d had similar arguments before. “Merlin isn’t playing favorites, he’s just trying to protect us all.” 

Elyan tilted his head to the side with a skeptical squint and added, “And favorites. I mean you and Gwaine are chosen the most. Besides Arthur of course.” 

“Chosen for what?” Leon asked. Four sets of eyes turned toward him in unison. It was disconcerting. 

Gwaine was the first to respond and he laughed and threw his arm across Leon’s shoulders and said, “How didn’t we realize it? Leon is a magic virgin here, huh?” 

Percival chuckled but turned away toward the sound of Merlin and Arthur’s return from the woods. Elyan just smirked and said quietly, “Oh Leon, you don’t know what you’re missing.” 

The rest of the trip was spent in confusion as Leon tried to come to terms with what was happening. Apparently Lancelot and Arthur weren’t the only two to have been powered up by Merlin before. The others had too. And it was something that they all wanted? By the time the party returned to Camelot, Leon had more questions than answers. 

He found them all, one by one, to get answers.

 

Gwaine was the easiest to get an answer from. Leon found him after practice and cornered him in the armory. “What was all that back with the beast?” 

Gwaine looked positively flummoxed for all of five long seconds before realization dawned on him. “You mean that magical power up?” 

Leon nodded and asked, “I thought only Arthur--” 

Gwaine laughed and waved his hand dismissively. “No, Princess just likes to think he’s special. We’ve all had times where Merlin’s graced us with his magic. It makes you stronger and temporarily impermeable to other magics. Like a shield and an adrenaline boost at once.” 

Leon looked uneasily around the room, but it was of course empty. Gwaine may seem careless, but he would never endanger Merlin’s secret. “When?” Leon asked, his curiosity overcoming him. 

Gwaine shrugged, “A few times now. Once when I was fighting some wyverns, once during a bandit attack, a couple times against Morgana’s armies. Why?” 

Leon bit his lip and thought about the way that Gwaine called Lancelot a lucky bastard. “What does it feel like?” he finally asked. 

Gwaine smirked even broader than before but there was a tinge of something more serious in his eyes. “You know when you’re really drunk, in the middle of the night with your best friend, and it feels like you can do anything? It feels like that, only without the drunken part. Like you could scream rain into falling or you could fight an army off single-handedly. Like your in-inhi-bi… what does Lancelot call them, when you’re drunk?” 

“Inhibitions?” 

“Yeah, them. It feels like those are gone, but like in the best way.” 

“Does all magic feel that way then?” Leon asked in confusion. 

Gwaine shook his head and his smirk was gone as he said evenly, “No, it’s just Merlin.” Gwaine left without another word and Leon let him.

 

He couldn’t stop the question from escaping his lips a week later when he was alone with Elyan doing a perimeter check. “What does it feel like?” 

Elyan didn’t even look over just asked, “What?” 

Leon checked around them once again to make sure they were alone, which was ridiculous considering they were in the woods outside of Camelot’s gates. “Merlin’s magic, when he does the glowing thing, what does it feel like?” 

Elyan glanced over at Leon and shrugged. “I don’t know. It feels good like you’re really really healthy. Like you’ve just eaten a huge meal and you’ve gotten the best night of sleep you’ve ever gotten.” He paused and then added, “But it’s more than that, it’s like you’re the best you possibly can be in that moment.” Elyan didn’t say anymore and Leon didn’t ask anything further. Elyan seemed lost in thought for the rest of the shift. 

 

Percival’s answer was even vaguer. Leon had managed to get Percival as his sparring partner and maneuvered them away from the rest of the knights, so they were out of hearing range. Gwaine shot them a knowing look but didn’t despair his loss of partner, just paired up with Lancelot instead. 

Later, between parries and swings, Leon asked, “What does it feel like?” 

Percival didn’t need any further prompting, he must have been talking to Gwaine. Percival lowered his sword and adjusted his chainmail, he’d still not gotten accustomed to it. “It feels like family. Like sitting in front of a warm fire and you have your family all around you. Like no matter what you say or do, they’ll have your back. You know?” 

Leon didn’t know, he’d never had much of a family, and they never sat around the fire much. He shook his head but Percival just sighed and swung at him once again with a speed that such a mountain of a man should not have. 

 

Lancelot was the hardest to get an answer from. He’d asked a couple of times but the dark-haired knight wouldn’t acknowledge the question. It wasn’t until Leon found Lancelot drunk in the corner of the tavern late one evening that he got an answer. 

Leon wasn’t going to try and ask again, Lancelot made it obvious he didn’t want to talk about it, he was just going to escort the knight back to his rooms. 

“I’ve been thinking about it, you know,” Lancelot said as they weaved between the stalls of the marketplace on their way to the castle. 

“What?” Leon asked, most of his attention on keeping Lancelot up right. It wasn’t often that the man would get drunk, especially this bad. 

“Your question. What does it feel like? It’s a hard question to answer.” 

“Lancelot, you don’t have to--” 

“I found my answer though.” Leon tried not to let his hopes up too high. According to the others, Lancelot was the first to know of Merlin’s magic, so maybe his answer would shed some light on the problem. “It feels like destiny.” 

Leon blinked in incomprehension for a long moment as Lancelot tripped over his feet once again. “What?” Leon asked in befuddlement. The only person he’d ever really heard use that word in all seriousness had been Merlin. 

“Destiny,” Lancelot repeated. “When he uses magic on you.” Leon winced at how loud Lancelot’s voice was in the middle of the street, and he hurried them to the castle walls and into Lancelot’s room. He’d just laid the man down on his bed when Lancelot began speaking again. “Every time he uses magic on me I can feel it all the way down to my bones. Merlin has this great destiny that he can’t escape, and in those times I can  _ feel _ it. It’s Merlin choosing each of us, every time, to have a small piece of his destiny within us.” 

“I think you’re drunk.” Leon pulled Lancelot’s boots off and set them carefully on the floor. 

“You know why he doesn’t use it on you?” Lancelot murmured, mostly asleep. 

Leon looked over, desperately wanting to know, despite himself. “Why?” 

“Because you were Uther’s knight first. Not Arthur’s. But he will, trust me.” Lancelot rolled onto his side and curled his arm underneath his head. “You’ll understand destiny too then.” 

Leon left Lancelot to sleep the drink off and went to think. He may have once been Uther’s knight, but he’d long been solely Arthur’s. What had he done, or not done, that made Merlin doubt him? Why was he getting the feeling that despite the answers he’d collected, he’d barely scratched the surface? 

 

Arthur’s answer wasn’t for him, but he heard it none the less. They’d been out on another quest to stop a magical threat to the outlying lands of Camelot. The fire was burning low and the night was quiet, all of them asleep but for Lancelot holding vigil as the watchman. 

Usually, Merin stayed up with whoever had first watch and they’d talk on the edges of the camp, but tonight Merlin was dead asleep on Leon’s left side, next to Arthur. He’d worn himself out healing a wound on Gwaine’s shoulder earlier. 

The others were asleep, but Leon’s mind was racing with questions, as he tried to find a way to prove his loyalty to Arthur and Merlin. He hated that it was ever questioned, but he would be sure to show the warlock he could be trusted. It wasn’t the first night he’d lost to thought, and wouldn’t be the last. 

After an hour or so, Arthur sighed and got up from his spot next to Merlin and went to sit next to Lancelot. “I can take over watch, if you want to sleep,” Arthur said quietly. 

Lancelot didn’t answer or move, and the two were sat in silence for quite a while. Leon had almost fallen asleep when Lancelot spoke up, “I don’t know how you do it.” 

“Do what?” Arthur asked, but Leon could detect a tone of understanding in his voice. 

“Leon’s been going around asking us all what it’s like, you know?” A twinge of alarm shot through Leon’s body, but he forced his body to remain slack and relaxed. 

“Merlin?” 

“Yeah.” 

There were some sounds of shifting bodies and Leon had to force himself to breathe normally as he felt Arthur pass him to check on a sleeping Merlin. After a few moments, Arthur returned to Lancelot’s side with a sigh. “So, what does it feel like then?” Arthur asked, his voice quiet and restrained. 

“I told him it felt like destiny. That’s what I don’t get, though. How can you feel like that all the time? How can he? It feels like I could drown in it if given the chance.” A pause and then Lancelot continued in an even softer voice, “but at the same time, it makes me feel worthy of it.” 

Arthur’s answer was so soft Leon almost didn’t hear it, “For me, it feels like… When he does it I can feel his belief in me. It’s terrifying and I don’t know what I’d do without it now. It  _ feels _ like the way he looks at me, you know? Like I’m a king.” 

“You are a king. Or you will be.” 

“No, I feel like his king. Like the Once and Future King.” 

“You are.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“You will be,” Lancelot said, and his voice sounded just like Merlin’s, with quiet devotion to each letter. 

“You sound like Merlin.” Leon almost snorted at the similarity between his thoughts and Arthur’s. 

“Like I said, I’ve felt his destiny, we all have. I see it in you too. Maybe, that’s the answer to my question. You can endure his destiny because it’s yours too.” There wasn’t any conversation after that, or if there was, it was after Leon had fallen asleep, but he thought about that overheard conversation many times over the next several weeks. 

 

Then came the day that he felt it for himself. The battle was a blur of Morgana’s forces against the seven of them. Arthur was in front, never faltering in his movements, in tune with Merlin beside him and his knights behind him. But a lucky blow landed on his right shoulder and the prince was forced to drop his sword in pain and shock. Merlin was immediately there and shielding him with magic, but more combatants were rushing toward them. Leon leaped forward to stand between the two men and the incoming enemies. 

He raised his sword with a cry and charged forward, and as he moved he felt something warm like sunlight but light like air rush around him. It saturated into his very being and his arms felt lighter, his heart bolder. He sliced through the first wave of bandits and soldiers with an ease and strength that weren’t his own. His mind was racing with awareness as he sunk into the buzz of the power wrapped around him,  _ through _ him. Was it destiny he was feeling? He didn’t know, didn’t think he’d recognize it if it was, but it felt right. 

He fought with ease and a light heart, knowing that Merlin had bestowed upon him a gift of friendship and loyalty. Merlin had given him the strength to protect his future king, and he would forever be grateful for Merlin’s presence by Arthur’s side. 

After, when it was all over and Merlin was seeing to Arthur’s wound, Leon collapsed gracefully with weak muscles on a log on the far side of the fire. He was soon beset upon by the others. Gwaine grinned and raised a brow, “So, how’d it feel?” 

Leon paused and looked across at Merlin who was arguing absentmindedly with Arthur as he laid glowing hands on Arthur’s bloody shoulder. Arthur lit up just slightly from within, a muted version of what he himself had just gone through, and the thought of it sent a shiver through his body. 

The feeling of Merlin’s magic working with him was strong and assured and priceless, but it left him shaking and exhausted. What must Merlin feel like with such power in his blood? Always? What must Arthur feel like with that magic at his beck and call, underneath his skin at odd hours of the day? Leon watched Merlin look at Arthur with a devotion that Leon was starting to understand. 

“It felt like trust…” Leon began but then ran out of words. It was so much more than that. Not just Merlin’s trust in him to not tell his secret, but trust in him to do the right thing. To not falter. To protect Arthur and Albion. It was a trust so deep that it obliterated the definition of the word. “Not just a trust of me, but  _ in  _ me. Like I could do no wrong.” He looked at the others and found them nodding along with pained understanding. 

Merlin’s magic was indescribable and made him feel like more than a man, but Leon was glad that he was only graced with it, not burdened with it. He looked once again at Arthur and Merlin and saw, in a flash, the destiny before them. It could be no others, but them. Arthur was the only one who could withstand Merlin’s destiny, and Merlin was the only one Arthur could trust to fully believe in him. 

Leon made another vow that night, upon the stars and destiny and the fading supernatural strength in his bones, that he would protect that vision with everything he had. Both of them. King and servant. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so that's that.   
> I wanted to create something where all the knights sort of get the deeper feeling behind Merlin and Arthur and also MerlinandArthur. Like when Merlin's magic touches them they get a glimpse of what Merlin's belief in Arthur sort of feels like. I don't know. Hopefully it wasn't completely incomprehensible, let me know what you thought the message came across as.   
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
